He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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