We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
