If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
