people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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