A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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