So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Shame is for Republicans.
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