i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
