I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
