4 words: hood of his car
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
