She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
