yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is wine microwaveable?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
