He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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