God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
