i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
do herpes really smell.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
