No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
