I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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