Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
50% drunk capacity currently
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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