i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
