Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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