Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
