I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I checked into jail on foursquare
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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