I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
