mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We got so high we made milksteak
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
