A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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