What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
