highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
