Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
