you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
