I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
