So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
