There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
