I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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