May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
