CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
