You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
