he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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