if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
