i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
