Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
