I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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