Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
vagina is talking i cant
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
