it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
