Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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