I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
