Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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