Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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