She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
