it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize