Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
