ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
